What you should know about 'International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia.'

Photo Credit: Danudesignsdotcome

Today, May 17, 2016 is International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia. The day was created in 2004 in order to get the attention of policymakers, the public, and the media; and to educate them on the discrimination one faces when one is LGBTI.

This movement is celebrated in over 130 countries. In the time this movement has been active, it has become the most important date for the LGBTI community to mobilize on a global scale. It is so important that the world be aware of the discrimination we experience. Homosexuality, being transgender, or being intersex is illegal in many countries around the world. Some people in the community even get killed because of who they are.

In the United States, while gay marriage is legal in all 50 states, states such as North Carolina and Mississippi continue their attack on the LGBTI community. They enforce laws that allow conservatives to publicly shame the LGBT community. They enforce bathroom laws that make it a crime for one to be their authentic self. IDAHOT is all about raising awareness.

There are many facts about IDAHOT that one should be aware of:

• The May 17th date was chosen as a commemoration of the World Health Organization declassifying homosexuality as a mental disorder. This decision was made in 1990.
• The date was first known as "International Day against Homophobia." Later on, it was mainstreamed via the acronym I.DA.HO.
• Transphobia was added to the title of the name in 2009. The acronym changed to IDAHOT, and is widely used alongside the original acronym of IDAHO. Biphobia was added to the title in 2015.
• Seeing as how sexuality and gender is a very complex issue, the IDAHOT committee created the following baseline:
  "A global celebration of sexual and gender  diversities."
  The baseline reflects various categories of sexuality and gender, including: Queer, Pansexual, Asexual, and more.

My story:

I've talked a lot about my sexuality in the past. I've dated mostly men, but I have liked females since I was 13 years old. I didn't pursue those feelings because I was bullied. When word got out that I liked a female classmate, a boy started calling me "Ellen (as in Ellen Degeneres. At the time, I thought it meant something bad because he was saying it in a negative context. When you're 14 and being bullied in this capacity, you sort of suppress this part of you out of fear that something worse might happen)." I was already the victim of other types of bullying and I didn't want to add more reasons to the list. I suppressed that part of me and dated guys, because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. The experiences were always complicated, I rarely enjoyed sex with a guy, and I kept mentally going back to that part of me that liked females. I dated one female for a month, and it didn't work out (she was still in love with her ex). I ended up in a serious relationship with a guy some years after that, and I wanted to marry him. When the relationship reached that serious point, I was brought back to that part of me that I had suppressed. If I marry this guy, I will never be able to embrace this part of myself. I didn't want to have any regrets, but I also loved the guy I was with. The relationship ended last year and I entered a very serious depression. I checked myself into treatment for depression and alcohol abuse.
Since then, I have realized a lot about myself. Through counseling, meditation, and just learning about who I am, I realized that the part I was suppressing was the most important part of who I am.

As I have been opening the door to the part of me that I have suppressed for over 20 years, I am feeling more free and more comfortable in my own skin.

Do I have any desires for men (romantic or sexual)? No. I could sit through both Magic Mike movies and nothing would happen 'down there.' 

Now, if I don't have any desires for men, does that make me a lesbian?
Well, if you're looking at the situation in black and white, yes. However, since I haven't had a complete physical experience with a woman yet, I have a hard time giving myself that label. I would consider myself "queer." I'm okay with it too. I have a supportive family and amazing friends, and I consider myself one of the lucky ones. With where I am at in my life, I want to do my part in helping others who are not so lucky. I want to raise awareness of the violence and discrimination that our community goes through.

We all need to do our part. The violence needs to end.