Blurbal Perspective

Apparently there is a new way to measure sexiness: Place 50 quarters on your collarbone. If you're able to stack all 50 quarters on your collarbone, you're hella sexy and dudes will wanna bone you. Folks, I understand that people go to great lengths to determine what is (and isn't) sexy, but stacking 50 quarters on your collarbone? Really!? For me, the challenge would be actually FINDING 50 quarters. The last time I held 50 quarters in my hands was when I was a 3rd Key Manager at Le Gourmet Chef, and had to put change in the register. I don't know who invented this collarbone challenge, but they obviously have way too much time on their hands. I'd recommend a new hobby. Perhaps skydiving, or bungee-jumping without a bungee.

Before I begin.... When I read this story, I physically pushed my laptop away from me and facepalmed. I never thought humanity could sink any lower than we already are. Anyways, onto the story: Apparently, a designer has invented a special way we can mourn the loss of a significant other/spouse: put their ashes in a dildo and get on the road to funkytown. Mark Sturkenboom designed the "Memory Box," which contains the following: A dildo An iPhone slot so you can listen to tunes while you pleasure yourself with the ashes of your dead spouse. A bronze key that one can wear as a necklace A scent diffuser that will keep the whole "Memory Box" "fresh." My Two Cents: Folks, this is precisely why aliens won't talk to us. I have heard a lot of depraved things in my lifetime, but this just entered my 'most depraved thing I've ever heard' list at number 2. I understand that losing a spouse or a significant other is one of the mos...

photo credit: The Raw Story via TLC Just when you thought that the Duggars could not get any weirder, here comes the kissing lesson. On a recent episode of "19 Kids and Counting," Jim Bob and Michelle counsel Jessa and Ben on communication in a marriage. Jim Bob:" Both of you'll like the physical relationship, but the guy, that'll be kinda the main focus. But, for a woman, communicating is the most important thing." Then, the counseling session segwayed into a kissing lesson. Jim Bob: "Let me show y'all the best way to kiss, here. If you kiss straight on, your noses hit together.So you have to turn, she turns one way and I turn the other." Jessa coos at her parents kissing one another, saying: "You guys are so cute." Excuse me for a moment....    My Two Cents:  I had my first real kiss when I was 15. It was with a guy I really liked, who liked me back (which was unheard of in my frizzy hair, morbidly obes...