Humanity has reached a new level of wrong: Introducing the "Memory Box." (NSFW)

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Before I begin....
When I read this story, I physically pushed my laptop away from me and facepalmed. I never thought humanity could sink any lower than we already are.

Anyways, onto the story:
Apparently, a designer has invented a special way we can mourn the loss of a significant other/spouse: put their ashes in a dildo and get on the road to funkytown.
Mark Sturkenboom designed the "Memory Box," which contains the following:
  • A dildo
  • An iPhone slot so you can listen to tunes while you pleasure yourself with the ashes of your dead spouse.
  • A bronze key that one can wear as a necklace
  • A scent diffuser that will keep the whole "Memory Box" "fresh."

My Two Cents:

Folks, this is precisely why aliens won't talk to us. I have heard a lot of depraved things in my lifetime, but this just entered my 'most depraved thing I've ever heard' list at number 2.
I understand that losing a spouse or a significant other is one of the most painful things one will ever experience, but would your departed spouse want you to put their ashes in a dildo that you're using to pleasure yourself, while you're watching pornhub videos? I don't think so.

I don't know who this Mark guy is, but, WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Were you dropped on your head as a baby? Were you deprived of oxygen? Did you live under powerlines as a kid? In what universe is it okay to construct something like this. Even more, who the f*ck would buy something like this?

If you are going to mourn the loss of the love of your life, do it the normal way: Go to their gravesite and talk to them. Go to Church. Look at pictures. Talk about your adventures with them. Don't, and I mean DON'T put their ashes in a dildo and pleasure yourself.

You know, I can't even believe I had to say that last sentence. I'm ashamed to be human.


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