Blurbal Perspective

photo credit: enstarz Garner and Affleck announced today that they have decided to end their 10 year marriage. The couple made this statement to People magazine: "After much thought and careful consideration, we have made the difficult decision to divorce. We go forward with love and friendship for one another and a commitment to co-parenting our children whose privacy we ask to be respected during this difficult time. This will be our only comment on this private, family matter. Thank you for understanding." The twosome met on the set of Daredevil in 2003 and have three kids together.   My Two Cents: I actually had hopes for these two. They seemed like a very solid couple who didn't fall victim to the paparazzi bullies and end up in the tabloids. They kept their lives pretty much private. I mean, it's the type of relationship Affleck needed after the massive f*ckup that was his relationship to Jennifer Lopez. Sorry to see these two splitting up. I wi

photo credit: thewrap *Before I begin, I had to research Iggy Azalea since I had no idea who she was and why she is "famous." I even braved listening to a few of her songs (Note: I have my 3 month old kitten "Nala" next to me and she couldn't even handle the songs. She looked at me as if I were nuts for enduring 5 minutes of "What the F*ck?" music). * Anyways, from what I gather, she is a 25 year old Australian rapper who blew onto the scene with her song "Fancy." Onto the story. Recently, she collaborated with none other than Britney Spears for her song "Pretty Girls." Iggy became pissed off because the song didn't do well on the charts, and she blamed Britney for it. Iggy said that it was a lack of promotion that made "Pretty Girls" peak at number 29 on the Billboard Hot 100. She did a Twitter Q&A with her fans, saying that the flop was out of her control, and that she was only a featured artist for the

photo credit: SykaFacebook Good day my faithful readers. I wanted to switch gears from the grind and start a new series. I've noticed on Twitter that a lot of bands tend to follow me. I've listened to some of the music these amazing, yet underrated, bands have put out, and I wanted to show them some love. My first post in this series, I'm dedicating to a band who started following me yesterday: Syka. Syka is a rock band out of NY. At the helm of this amazing band is Jesyka, a rock goddess who has an amazing voice and stage presence. Her style reminds me of Lzzy Hale from Halestorm. Gregg Sgar is Syka's guitarist and he is just badass. Gino Martine on bass absolutely kills it! Steve Richards on drums is pure perfection. They have 54K dedicated fans who love their badass music and live performances. Syka's motto is to "Stay Wild." Indeed, their music makes me want to do just that. Syka has new music coming out on July 17. If you're in the NYC ar

photo credit: womansdaynz ...And in the running for "Father of the Year," we have Bill Hudson, whose sperm produced two of Hollywood's finest thespians: Oliver Hudson and Kate Hudson. The declaration came after Oliver Hudson posted a photo of himself, Kate Hudson, and Bill Hudson on Instagram, on Father's day, with the caption: "Happy Abandonment Day." (For those who don't know the history of this estranged family, it was reported that Bill Hudson left then wife, Goldie Hawn, and Oliver and Kate). In sheer maturity, Bill Hudson did an interview with the Daily Mail and publicly disowned his famous kids: “I had five birth children but I now consider myself a father of three. I no longer recognise Oliver and Kate as my own. I would ask them to stop using the Hudson name. They are no longer a part of my life. Oliver’s Instagram post was a malicious, vicious, premeditated attack. He is dead to me now. As is Kate. I am mourning their loss even tho

photo credit: standarduk Last Monday, a video uploaded to YouTube showed a tourist trying to get a rise out of the Queen's guard. Dude mocked the guard by mimicking his struct. Of course, the guard kept his cool. As soon as the tourist put his hand on the guard's shoulder, sh*t got VERY REAL. Soldier immediately points a large rifle at the tourist and says, "Step back from the Queen's guard!" Tourist complies and goes about his day. Queen's guard is badass, and a force to be reckoned with. My Two Cents: When I was 16, I went to the UK. We visited the Buckingham Palace area and I saw these guards up close. Did I mock these guards? A little. I saw some of my peers doing a lot of suggestive moves on the guards. One guard did give one of my peers the evil eye. The rest didn't do anything. The only time they moved was during the "changing of the guards." I can only imagine the things these guards tell their families when they get off the

photo credit: Yahoo Yesterday, history was made: SCOTUS made same-sex marriage legal in the United States. It was a great day for everyone who is a part of the gay community, and those whom support the gay community. Unfortunately, there are a cluster(f*ck) of individuals who are absolutely appalled by the ruling, and even vowed to go to extreme measures to show their disgust for love. One guy, a pastor, said that he would set himself on fire if gay marriage become legal in the United States. I wonder if he will hold up his end of the bargain and get toasty. I sure as hell would love to see this happen. PPV, please air this! A Christian couple vowed to divorce if gay marriage become legal. The funny thing about this couple is, isn't divorce also frowned upon in their bible? I mean, what are they trying to prove with their temper tantrum? To that couple, If you think you are going to be one of the chosen people when Jesus returns, you got another thing coming. Your Jesus do

Today, history has been made, and it is a beautiful history. In a 5-4 ruling, the court has determined that every American has the right to marry the person they love, regardless of gender. The CEO of GLAAD had this to say about the historic ruling: “Today, love prevailed and our nation became a more perfect union by affirming that all people are indeed created equal and justice belongs to everyone. With this decision, loving and committed same-sex couples can finally rest knowing their families are protected and their dignity is no longer up for public debate. But as we celebrate this watershed victory for fairness, we are reminded that marriage equality is a benchmark, not a finish line, and our work to bridge the gap to full acceptance for LGBT people continues.” My Two Cents: Those that know me know that I am an avid supporter of the GLBT community. I literally almost started crying tears of joy when I saw the news break about this decision. I had been following thi

photo credit:  imgur Oh how the mighty have fallen. Teen actor-turned porn star-turned-bitter a**hole has been sentenced to 4 months in jail after a stabbing incident that happened last year. Last year, witnessed stated that his girlfriend started the fight when she pushed another woman. In a moment of confusion, Diamond shanked a dude. Diamond's girlfriend was also charged with disorderly conduct. Diamond was charged with two misdemeanors for carrying a weapon, and disorderly conduct. ABC reports that Diamond was "misty-eyed" when the sentence was read. Diamond will begin his four months in jail this Sunday. My Two Cents: So does this mean he will resort back to his Screech character when he is plowed by his cellmate? In all honesty, I don't think Dustin Diamond will do well in prison. Not because he's pretty (he's a chud, actually), but because he's Screech and a bonafide douchebag. Don't expect Zach Morris to bail you out of this one,

photo credit: smosh From the Throwback Thursday vault: In 2014, a Florida woman was arrested after she beat the sh*t out of her boyfriend after a bad oral sex encounter. Jennie Scott, 50, opened a can of whoop-ass on Jilberto Deleon, 32, at his home last year. Turns out, she got pissed off when he finished first and stopped pleasing her. Police found Jennie Scott punching and scratching the young man. My Two Cents: Folks, you really can't fault the woman for being angry. I've come (no pun intended) across many men who will just get their rocks off, and leave the woman with the female case of blue balls. It's pretty selfish. However, I would never beat the sh*t out of the guy. I would just give him a dose of his own medicine next time. Ladies, if you have a man who constantly stops pleasing you after he climaxes, here's what you do: Next time when you are in the heat of the moment, just as he is about to blow his load, STOP what ever it is that you're doi

"Rawr. I'm coming for your sperm sack!" photo credit: sickchirpse Gentlemen, hold on to your nuts! A fisherman admiring the sights and sounds of wildlife at a South New Jersey lake had his world shaken when he caught a rather exotic fish. The pacu, native to South America, has human-like teeth and has the unfortunate reputation of om-nom-noming on male genitalia. In 2011, Jeremy Wade featured the pacu on his show, "River Monsters (on Animal Planet)." he reported that two men have died from getting their nuts chomped off by these feisty fish. Fear not, gentledudes, not all of you will get your sacks chewed up  by these fish. The pacu are in the same family as the piranha: they both eat plants for the most part, but will also eat smaller fish if need be. While these fish are usually found searching for scrotum yum-yums in the Amazon, they have been spotted here in the US, in states other than New Jersey (As for why the fish was in NJ is beyond m

photo credit: capitalfm When one thinks of porta potties, you think of smelly, gross, modern outhouses that make you want to run to your nearest clinic and get checked for hepatitis or the bubonic plague after use. What one may not expect to find in a porta potty, however, is a mariachi band, church choir, and a high school marching band. Well, the good folks over at Improv Everywhere decided to run a fast one at a Music festival in NYC. Watch and see what happens:   There you have it, folks. These musical sh*t chairs don't always have to be a sh*tty experience.

photo credit: People In South Williamson, KY, Walmart shoppers got a close up view of a lunatic taking off his clothes, putting on a halloween mask and running through the store naked. When he got to the dairy section of Walmart, he proceeded to pour milk all over himself. After his milk bath (by the way, I've heard it's good for the skin), he ran through Walmart shouting that he was on fire. A Walmart shopper happened to capture the footage on video and submitted it to YouTube. The video instantly went viral. The sheriff in Pike County, KY obtained arrest warrants and is currently looking for the milk-bathing, streaking, fire man. My Two Cents: #OnlyAtWalmart. "Attention Walmart shoppers: Would the naked man covered in milk please report to customer service? We have your clothes. We have received some complaints about your blue balls and shriveled p*nis. Please pick up your clothes and put them on. Thank you."

photo credit: zimbio Ladies, I don't want to get off on a rant (well actually I do), but I have a huge problem with the straight women who say they would "go gay" for Ruby Rose. First of all, there is no "going gay." You either are or aren't. Yes, Ruby Rose may be a genderfluid lesbian, but you still cannot "go gay" for her. If you are looking at her, and picturing yourself tearing off her clothes and licking her from head to toe, you may want to think long and hard about that. Perhaps you're not as straight as you may think. Secondly, I know many women in the gay community who are annoyed with straight women saying they would "go gay" for Ruby Rose. A contributor for Huff Post's Gay Voices stated something that I agree with: "Straight girls are comfortable being attracted to Ruby Rose because she doesn't pose a real threat to their heterosexuality, or their need to readdress their conceptions of beauty and

photo credit: ibtimes By now, we've all heard about the tragedy that happened in Charleston, SC. For those who haven't, I will bring you up to speed: A man opened fire in a Church on Wednesday evening, killing 9 Church-goers. The man was arrested shortly after and charged with 9 counts of murder. Republican candidate Rick Perry gave the world his two cents on the shooting, calling it an "accident" and placing blame on drug use. He spoke to NewsmaxTV about the shooting and said that he didn't know if the shooting was an act of terror. He did say he believed it was a "crime of hate." Perry also stated that the real issue here is "drugs:" “It seems to me – again, without having all the details about this one – that these individuals have been medicated. And there may be a real issue in this country, from the standpoint of these drugs, and how they’re used ."  The shooter, Dylann Roof, does have a history of drug use (a fact that I

Apparently there is a new way to measure sexiness: Place 50 quarters on your collarbone. If you're able to stack all 50 quarters on your collarbone, you're hella sexy and dudes will wanna bone you. Folks, I understand that people go to great lengths to determine what is (and isn't) sexy, but stacking 50 quarters on your collarbone? Really!? For me, the challenge would be actually FINDING 50 quarters. The last time I held 50 quarters in my hands was when I was a 3rd Key Manager at Le Gourmet Chef, and had to put change in the register. I don't know who invented this collarbone challenge, but they obviously have way too much time on their hands. I'd recommend a new hobby. Perhaps skydiving, or bungee-jumping without a bungee.

photo credit: DailyMailUK So, a man by the name of Aaron Stein decided to rob a bank using a sex toy . The sex toy was wrapped up in duct tape. He allegedly showed a bank teller wires that were hanging out of his shirt. He demanded cash from the teller and fled the scene with an unknown amount of cash. The weird part about the story (besides the sex toy) is that he called police on himself. Officer Mike Gastgeb spotted sex toy guy in a white Toyota sedan. He went over to confront sex toy guy but he drove off. Gastgeb was able to stop him eventually. The money was found in a garbage bag on the passenger seat. Underneath said seat was the "bomb." Despite the fact that there was no bomb to speak of, the bomb squad arrived on the scene. Some time later, Stein broke down and told police that he had lost all of his money in the stock market last week and he was hella desperate (a lot of people lose money in the stock market. Most just put a bullet in their head and cal

photo credit: WFTV Riddle me this: How does a raccoon cross Ocklawaha River? Answer: By hitching a ride on an alligator of course! In Florida, Richard Jones happened to be walking along this river in Ocala National Forest, when he saw a raccoon hitching a ride on an alligator's back. Dude took the opportunity to photograph the twosome before the alligator went into the water and the raccoon scurried off.   My Two Cents: I wonder how much the alligator charges for his uber-like services?

photo credit: HuffPostWeirdNews Today's "What the F*ck" report is brought to you by Logan, Utah, where a man tried to steal a car, but failed when he couldn't figure out how to use the stick shift. Nineteen year old Alexander Katz was with his underage girlfriend when they attempted to steal this car. Katz got into the front seat and his girlfriend tried to walk him through the process on how to drive the car. The dude gave up and abandoned the car. Then, they called a cab at a nearby gas station. Police caught up to the dynamic duo. The duo tried to run off but the police officers caught up to Katz's girlfriend. In her statement, she told police that she and Katz started their night off by trying to score some Benedryl. Then they came up with the brillant plan to steal a car. Katz was arrested a few hours later. Police Chief Gary Jensen had this to say about the duo: "I'm not 100 percent certain why she doesn't just get around and get

Good afternoon everyone! It's been an interesting couple of weeks, but unfortunately, my day job was short-lived. Last week, I went to the doctor for my 1 year post-surgery check up, and the news was not good. My fusion showed very little bone growth, and the bone above my surgery site is sliding. I told my neurosurgeon that I had begun working a part-time job and I had noticed an increase in my pain levels. I told him the pain was especially difficult to deal with after my 8 hour Saturday shifts. He agreed that I should cut that day out. We also discussed me taking it easy for a while. If my back situation does not get better in a few months, we will probably be looking at another surgery. He diagnosed me with Pseuarthrosis . It's basically a bone fracture that has no chance in getting better without intervention. It's a rare complication for someone my age. It is also known as a "false joint" issue. In most cases, in order to fix it, the surgeon would have

In a highly anticipated announcement, Donald Trump officially threw his toupee into the presidential race . He is the second major republican candidate to enter the race within the past two days. His speech had a little bit of everything rolled into it: jabs at republicans and Obama, self-boasting, and rather low-brow comments: "I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created." His most "classiest" comment came when he referenced Mexicans: "They're sending people that have lots of problems and they're bringing their problems. They're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime, they're rapists, and some I assume are good people but I speak to border guards and they tell us what we are getting." My Two Cents:   In terms of whether or not he has my vote, here is my response: 

photo credit: masetv This morning, Dolezal spoke with Matt Lauer on the Today Show and addressed the controversy surrounding her ethnicity. She told Lauer that she identifies as black, which is something she had been doing since age 5. She told Lauer that she used to draw self-portraits with brown crayon instead of the peach crayon. The self-portraits would also have curly hair. She insists that she never deceived anyone, despite what critics have been saying since the world erupted from the news. She also had this to say about the controversy: "I do take exception to that because it's a little more complex than me identifying as black or answering a question of, are you black or white? As much as this discussion has somewhat been at my expense recently, and in a very sort of viciously inhumane way come out of the woodwork, the discussion is really about what it is to be human, I hope that that can drive at the core of definitions of race, ethnicity, culture, self

Adam Hirtle of Colorado was sitting home bored one night, and thought "Hmm, I wonder what it would feel like to shoot my own foot." Well, homeboy took his .22 caliber, semi-automatic handgun and pulled the trigger. After shooting himself in the foot, he put a boot on and did it again. In case you were wondering, his injuries were not life-threatening. Hirtle was arrested for reckless endangerment, child abuse (one or more kids were around when he did this), and prohibited use of a weapon. My Two Cents: *pushes papers off desk, stands up with hands in the air.* I give up! Folks, this is why we cannot have nice things. Dear god, please tell me that you were on meth when you allowed this dipsh*t to be conceived by his inbred parents?

photo credit: celebedition Rachel Dolezal has decided to do the right thing and step down from her position at the NAACP. Dolezal made the announcement on Monday on the Spokane NAACP's Facebook page: "Dear Executive Committee and NAACP Members, It is a true honor to serve in the racial and social justice movement here in Spokane and across the nation. Many issues face us now that drive at the theme of urgency. Police brutality, biased curriculum in schools, economic disenfranchisement, health inequities, and a lack of pro-justice political representation are among the concerns at the forefront of the current administration of the Spokane NAACP. And yet, the dialogue has unexpectedly shifted internationally to my personal identity in the context of defining race and ethnicity. I have waited in deference while others expressed their feelings, beliefs, confusions and even conclusions - absent the full story. I am consistently committed to empowering marginalized voic

photo credit: Zimbio The worst kept secret in Hollywood has been confirmed: Kristen Stewart is dating a woman. K-Stew's momma shared the news with The Sunday Mirror and said this: "I accept my daughter loves women and men. It's OK to be who you are in my world. We all choose our friends, so we should be free to choose our lovers." Amen to that! Folks, don't expect Kristen Stewart to comment on this news. She is notorious for keeping her private life...well....private.   My Two Cents: I consider this news to be one of the worst kept secrets in Hollywood. I was getting sapphic vibes from her after I saw "The Runaways" back in 2010. Of course, after she cheated on Rob Pattinson with that older guy, I did lose some respect for her. However, the one thing that I still like about her is that she doesn't go around blabbing about her personal life. With so many celebrities talking about their sex lives and foot fetishes, it's refreshi

photo credit: celebritybabyscoop Leave it to Facebook (a$$)trolls to find perversion in this adorable photo of Jessica Simpson's daughter, Maxwell. As I was wandering Facebook looking for intelligent life, I came across an article and found that the bottomfeeders are out in full force. E! Online posted a photo of Jessica Simpson's adorable tot planting a smooch on a little boy. Underneath the storyline, there were dozens of comments from people perverting the photo. Folks, perhaps she is a little young to be kissing, but this isn't the type of kiss that one would give their significant other. This is an innocent, friendly kiss between two 3 year olds. They are 3 years old for f*cks sake. I may be in the minority here, but I think the photo is absolutely adorable. Maxwell is the spitting image of her mother, and that's a great thing. As for the haters: haters be hatin!

photo credit: Vibe Despite my busy schedule, I have been following the news in regards to this delusional woman who poses as an African-American woman. This woman has claimed to be black for at least a decade and is the head of the NAACP Spokane chapter. photo credit: proactivetranshuman She gained national attention when her parents outed her real ethnic origins, stating that she is caucasian. Rachel Dolezal has told the press that she has no relationship with her parents and that no one should believe what they hear in the media. She still holds true to her claim that she is black. My Two Cents: I understand that a lot of people emulate the African-American culture. The community has contributed so much and you cannot help but love the community. What really pisses me off are liars. I don't have a problem with how Rachel Dolezal makes a living (working at the NAACP). However, I have a huge problem with a woman who says she is black, but is clearly NOT black. I

Xray: 10 days after surgery One of my x-rays from October 2014 (six months after surgery) Good evening everyone. Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary of my spinal fusion. As some of you know, since 2013, I had been suffering from moderate to severe back pain. The pain was to the point where I could not walk (no matter how hard I tried). I spent all of 2013 going from one doctor to another trying to figure out what was causing the extreme pain. I tried all methods of pain management (including the hippie stuff) and nothing helped me. When I got referred to my neurosurgeon, I had a lot of high hopes. After extensive tests, and one extremely painful discography, I was cleared for surgery. You may be wondering what the surgeon found during these tests. Here's a lowdown of what he found: -Degenerative Disc Disease -Early onset arthritis throughout my back -Lumbar spondyliosis -Spinal Stenosis -Scoliosis (already knew about this one. I've had this since I was 11 years

Get ready for the most 'out of this world' story you will hear all week. Five years ago, a woman in Spain claimed ownership of the sun (you know, that bright round object in the sky that gives us warmth, tans, and solar flares? Yeah, that one.). While it is illegal for an individual to claim ownership of a celestial body, Maria Duran found a legal loophole. The treaty in her country does not ban individuals from staking claim in celestial bodies. Duran even had her ownership of the sun notorized. The problem here is, the width of the sun became too much real estate for Duran to handle, so she decided to sell some of the land on eBay ($1 for 11 sq. feet of land). Ebay shut down her operation before she could cash out on her 600+ orders. Duran got 'heated' and decided to sue eBay for $11,000. Apparently there isn't anything keeping her (legally speaking) from suing eBay. I guess we shall see how this one plays out. o_0 "B*tch, I owned the sun long be

I'm pretty sure that all of you have heard about Josh Duggar's dirty little secret...that he molested a handful of females (including his own sisters Jill and Jessa Duggar). He has admitted to the molestations and what boggles my mind is that his family is standing by his side. I totally get that you have to be there for your family through thick and thin, but, if I had a son who violated young girls, I would throw him in jail myself and tell him that he is no longer welcome in the family. I understand that Josh Duggar's family is uber-religious and all, but I'm pretty sure even God has a line and Josh Duggar has crossed it. Adding insult to injury...Jill and Jessa are DEFENDING their brother's violation of them, saying that he was just "going through puberty and curious." A lot of guys are "curious" about the female anatomy (it's called being horny). Not all of them go around molesting young girls and their own sisters! There is somet