Testicle-eating fish caught in New Jersey
"Rawr. I'm coming for your sperm sack!"
photo credit: sickchirpse
Gentlemen, hold on to your nuts!
A fisherman admiring the sights and sounds of wildlife at a South New Jersey lake had his world shaken when he caught a rather exotic fish.
The pacu, native to South America, has human-like teeth and has the unfortunate reputation of om-nom-noming on male genitalia.
In 2011, Jeremy Wade featured the pacu on his show, "River Monsters (on Animal Planet)." he reported that two men have died from getting their nuts chomped off by these feisty fish.
Fear not, gentledudes, not all of you will get your sacks chewed up by these fish. The pacu are in the same family as the piranha: they both eat plants for the most part, but will also eat smaller fish if need be.
While these fish are usually found searching for scrotum yum-yums in the Amazon, they have been spotted here in the US, in states other than New Jersey (As for why the fish was in NJ is beyond me. Perhaps he learned about Chris Christie's bid for president and felt hungry for some douchey nuts). These fish have also been spotted in Maine, Virginia, Colorado, California, and Texas.
As for how the fish came about in the lake, experts theorize that this particular pacu belonged to a fish hobbyist. When pacu are purchased, they are only a few inches long. As the pacu reaches maturity, they can grow as large as 3 feet and weigh more than 40 pounds. The fish hobbyist probably could not take care of a fish that size and decided to free the fish at the lake.
My Two Cents:
Damn. All this time I been carrying pepper spray in my purse in order to ward off dudes. I should just invest in buying a pacu.
