Why you should wait to have kids until you're engaged or married.
What made the situation devastating is that I later found out that the guy who whispered sweet nothings to me and made promises to me, was in a serious relationship with another woman. He told me to have an abortion. I told him no because I am against abortion. He bolted and I didn't hear from him for over a month. His girlfriend, now fiancée, stalked my social media and threatened my life. He began to harass me as well. I apologized to him for keeping the baby, I apologized to her for what happened, and I apologized to God for letting Him down.
I left social media for a month because it got to the point where I was afraid for my life. I didn't leave my apartment for days at a time, and when I did leave, I looked over my shoulder. When I returned to social media, I learned of their engagement (via an anonymous message on Facebook). I didn't care that they got engaged (I still don't). What I did care about is that they thought it was okay to bully me. Yes, I know keeping this baby is horrible, but I promised that I wouldn't come after him, and it's a promise I am keeping.
Being without a partner during pregnancy is hard enough. Being without a partner during a difficult and high risk pregnancy is an entirely different level of loneliness. Now I understand why women wait til marriage to have sex and bring babies into the world. I wish I could have been like those women. I do know, going forward, I will be a woman who waits. I owe it to myself and God to wait. I also need to lead by example and teach my son that it isn't okay to have careless sex outside of an engagement or marriage. This can be the result.
If you're a young person who is desperate for a baby, my suggestion to you is: wait. Wait for the man who will get down on one knee and propose marriage to you. Use your time to go to school, work, and better establish yourself. Don't give it up to a guy who says "I love you," and doesn't back it up with action. Guys always say one thing and mean another to women they don't care about. Wait for the man who will back up both his words and actions. Wait for the man who will be your partner, your best friend, and the love of your life.
I'm serious here. You don't want to go through what I am going through. I know some of you are saying that you will have better judgement than me. I'm telling you, one false move and you will find yourselves in my situation. Have better respect for yourselves.
As for me and my baby, I have dedicated my life to taking care of my son. He may not be here yet, but I am taking care of him by changing how I live my life. I want to lead by example. Even though things are tough now, health-wise, I will do everything in my power to make sure he has everything he needs. I am going to make things right by not taking out what happened between me and his father out on my son. My son is innocent, and I refuse to allow him to be the rope in a sadistic tug-of-war match (in my personal upbringing, I was the rope in a tug-of-war match between my parents. It was a horrible childhood, one that has put me in therapy as I prepare to bring my son into the world).
I know some of the internet trolls out there will have lots to say, such as: "You are the one who spread her legs," "You had sex with a taken guy," and more. Keep your comments to yourselves, and go check on the laundry your mothers are doing for your mooching a**es.
No one has been a harsher critic regarding my situation than I have. If you're thinking it, so have I. I've learned my lesson, I've taken my lumps, and I'm leaving it in the past so I can raise my son to be a good human being. My son is the only being in this world that I care about.
