"The Fosters" breaks new ground with the youngest same-sex kiss in TV history.
photo credit: The Advocate
Monday night, history was made. For the first time ever, an influential TV show portrayed something that many GLBTQ teens experience: first kisses. We are all used to seeing first kisses between teenage boys and girls, but never has a show portrayed a first kiss between two 13 year old male characters before.
Jude and Connor's relationship has grown over the past 3 seasons. We watched Jude (Hayden Byerly) and Connor (Gavin MacIntosh) bond over blue nail polish, and grow closer in their feelings for each other. Unfortunately, our world is still not okay with teenagers questioning their sexuality. Connor's father, who has a distaste for the gay community, has influenced his son to believe that being gay is wrong. Jude, on the other hand, while he is still questioning who he is, he isn't ashamed of what he feels. Connor tries to please his dad by going out with girls, but deep down, he is thinking about Jude.
On Monday night's episode, Connor stays over at Jude's house and they have a much-needed argument. Jude confronts Connor about how Connor has treated him lately, and Connor kisses Jude.
The kiss has erupted social media networks, and an overwhelming amount of support has flooded "The Fosters" social media, and many people have reached out to the young actors: Hayden Byerly (14), and Gavin MacIntosh (15). Messages of thanks and support have flooded their Twitter and Facebook accounts.
Of course, there have been people who have been outraged by the kiss, and the young age of the actors.
Let me tell you what I think about the kiss.
My Two Cents:
I have been a fan of this show since it aired. I love the main story of a same sex couple who has taken into their home teenagers who needed a good home. It's a beautiful story. This show has many storylines, but my favorite, out of all of them, have been the storylines associated with Jude and Connor. #blueforjude
What I love about this show is that they talk about issues that other shows do not (or will not) discuss. This is the first show that has ever shown actors this young questioning their sexuality. In reality, many children this young (and even younger) question who they are and who they like. It is such a scary time for same sex teens and questioning teens. Kids are already so cruel to those who are "different;" adding in a struggle that is so personal, like feelings toward the same sex is just torture. Suicide among GLBTQ youth in this age bracket is heart-breakingly high. These kids don't feel like there is anywhere for them to go. They feel alone. They feel that their feelings are "wrong."
People telling these kids that their feelings are "wrong" are the ones who are wrong. Many of us have had this struggle.
One thing that not many people know about me is that I went through this struggle. I questioned my own sexuality when I was the characters' age. Even through high school, I wondered. When I was in 8th grade, I liked a female classmate of mine. I thought that my feelings were wrong, so I never told anyone. I liked guys too, and dated guys, but I always wanted to explore that other side of me. I didn't get to until I was much older (in my late 20s). I dated a woman for a month. It didn't work out because she was still madly in love with her ex-girlfriend.
I am currently in a serious relationship with a man, and have been for over 3 years. He is the love of my life, and my partner in life. In no way do I regret questioning who I was when I was 13. I actually stopped questioning because it does not matter who I am and who I love. I love who I love, and I leave it at that. I'm not straight, I'm not bi, I'm not a lesbian, I'm not queer, I'm not anything. I leave my heart open. Leaving my heart open and making healthy decisions for myself is what led me to the love of my life.
Despite being happier than I've ever been in my life, I wish I were as brave as the characters in "The Fosters" when I was their age. To see a show that is sticking up for a generation of individuals who are forced to suppress who they are is very encouraging. I know that there are millions of teens out there that are questioning who they are. As adults, we need to encourage these kids that what they feel is NOT wrong. GLBTQ teens should be free to discover who they are, just like straight teens are able to discover who they are.
Jude and Connor represent these teens. Their struggles are just as real and innocent as what straight teens go through.
To teens who are questioning who they are: What you feel is NOT wrong. You are just as innocent (even more so) than straight teens. Don't EVER feel that something is wrong with you. I know how badly you want to fit in with your peers and impress your parents. But that shouldn't mean that you ignore who you are. You have to explore those feelings.
Parents: Not allowing your child to be who they are is not just damaging, it's downright abusive. I encourage you to research the statistics on teens who commit suicide because their parents and peers told them that being GLBTQ was "wrong." It will make you sick to your stomach. Allowing bigoted feelings to get in the way of your love for your child is just appalling. Your teens need you now more than ever. Adults who treat their GLBTQ teens badly should not be allowed to care for children. Be a mother, be a father, just be there for your child. Your child is hurting. Educate yourself on the statistics, and educate yourself on the GLBTQ community. This community is loving, open, caring, and willing to educate the straight community on what their community goes through on a daily basis. Just research what happened to 21 year old Matthew Shephard. He was murdered for being gay. His only crime was loving differently than those around him. Why does LOVE (of any kind) have to be seen as wrong? There is so much hate in this world, why do you have to punish those who LOVE?
Putting your head in the sand and ignoring the issues is not a good way to parent. I absolutely LOVE "The Fosters" for bringing up this issue. The producers, writers, director, and the young stars are amazing for sticking up for teens who struggle just like Connor and Jude. Thank you for representing these teens. You may have helped save lives because of this episode.
