Opinion Piece: Alright! Enough about Justin Bieber's nether-regions!

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photo credit: Jezebel

For some time now, I been seeing reports about Justin Bieber's "package." People are speculating that the Calvin Klein photos that were recently published were altered to make him look more endowed than he is. The folks over at Camp Bieber state that the photos were not re-touched and that the proportions are accurate.
All of this mess has everyone up in a tizzy. I am writing this blog as an SOS...PLEASE MAKE THE MADNESS STOP! What does it matter? He is so unliked, his own country does not want him back!

Justin Bieber is a funny little fellow. I'm not familiar with his music, I'm mainly familiar with what I read in the news. What I have learned of this particular breed is that he is a 20 year old trapped inside the body of some half-boy/half-man hybrid. The parts fit together against some strange ink blots that are scattered all over his surface.

This is all I know of one Justin Bieber. As for his man parts, I just want to know if this Bieber creature is human. I'm not ready to handle an alien invasion of this particular species. I want to recover from my back surgery first, so I can kick some ass. I'm all about fighting the forces of evil and instilling good on this planet of ours.

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