Shauna's gettin' a brand new back!
Tomorrow I will be getting a spinal fusion done, and I will be in the hospital for three days. I been dealing with severe back pain from Spinal Stenosis for the past year and a half. At times, it has prevented me from walking, which has prevented me from working an outside job. Since I still have to make a living, I decided to work from home. I earn money being a pain in the ass writing online, and, while I do love it, I miss being a little shit in public.
Throughout the past year and a half, I been going from doctor to doctor, trying to figure out why the hell I been in so much pain. Some thought I was making it up. ER docs thought I was trying to hit them up for pain pills. My primary doctor thought I was depressed and wanted to commit me. I told my primary doctor that my pain wasn't because of depression, and that it was the other way around. She referred me to pain management. Went there, did physical therapy (didn't work). Had two cortisone shots (didn't work). Then I was sent to a Neurosurgeon. I went through a number of tests, including the grueling Discography (which is a torturous pain inflicter procedure. They do this to see which one of your spine discs is causing your pain). Usually I have a high threshold of pain. However, I swore, screamed, and cried like a little bitch when they tested my L4 and L5 discs. I also bit through a towel.
This test was enough for the Neurosurgeon to clear me for surgery. So, tomorrow, I will be going under the knife, and I will be getting screwed....and not in the fun way.
Here's the general idea of how things will look when all is said and done:
(Here you see three rows of screws in this picture. I'm only getting the first two rows).
Following my stint in the hospital, I will be returning home, but, I will be on serious painkillers and probably won't even remember my own name for the first three weeks after surgery. Hopefully I can return to my writing and get back to making money. I'm in the middle of writing a book, and I want to get it published by the end of the summer.
Anywho, I just wanted to alert you guys to my absence. Say a prayer for me. I'm a bit nervous. It is my first major surgery, and I'm hoping it doesn't get screwed up.
I'm going to close here, and leave you all with a video that I find appropriate for the moment:
"Baby Got Back," by Sir Mix A Lot
See you soon, Blurbal Vomiters! <3
