Random Blurbal thoughts
A few days ago, a dear friend of mine asked me how I stay so strong. Between going into treatment for bipolar and alcoholism, to a bad break up, to my spinal issues, he wondered how I manage it all.
I honestly did not know what to say, because I don't even know how I stay so strong. I don't have all the answers. I get through everything by the only way I know how: I just take things moment by moment. I think where I went wrong in the past was I focused too much on the future. I worried about what everyone thought about me, and I wallowed too much in the things that were wrong in my life. I didn't appreciate the things that were going right in my life. I didn't take the time I needed in order to get myself well. It took my previous relationship imploding in on itself, and (secret) continued drinking, in order to finally seek help. Are there things I wish I had done differently? Yes and no. Part of me wouldn't change a thing because it got me where I am today. For the first time in my life, I'm mentally stable and sober. Does this mean I have all the answers? Absolutely not. If I did, I would be sharing my answers with the world. Sadly, I'm just figuring it out as I go along, just like all of you.
Last week, I completed my treatment program. I also closed the chapter on my previous relationship. It is a season of new beginnings. I'm not sure what the future holds for me, but I want to be ready for it.
Meditation has helped me stay grounded. I meditate everyday, and I say special prayers for those around me going through hard times.
It may seem like I go through a lot all at once, and I do. I no longer let it stop me from creating the best life I can for myself. If I have a day where I'm in a lot of pain, and I have trouble walking, I live my day within my means. A few days ago, my left leg gave out on me (which it does often because of the nerve damage created by my spinal injury). I didn't let this recent setback get me down. I rode it out and stayed positive. When I have my flare ups, I ride them out. My neurosurgeon said that my prognosis could go either way. I could make a full recovery, or I could be confined to assistive devices (bed, wheelchair, cane, walker, commode, etc) for the rest of my life. It's up to me and my body. In the past, I allowed other people's opinions about my situation get me down. My ex's family members no longer spoke to me unless I was working and making a sh*t ton of money. I forced myself to work when I wasn't ready, and I caused further damage to my spine (this isn't their fault. It was my own doing because I allowed their opinions to get me down). It shouldn't matter what these people, or anyone else, feels about my issues. They don't know what I do through on a daily basis, nor should they.
The only thing that matters is that I wake up every morning with love in my heart, and hope in my soul. I do what I need to do to get through my days. I pray for those in my life that are going through hardships. I keep a smile on my face no matter what, and I provide kick a** content on this blog.
Anyways, if you are going through some crazy sh*t right now, I pray with a loving heart that you find peace. I pray that strength and love finds you, and surrounds you in its light.
I honestly did not know what to say, because I don't even know how I stay so strong. I don't have all the answers. I get through everything by the only way I know how: I just take things moment by moment. I think where I went wrong in the past was I focused too much on the future. I worried about what everyone thought about me, and I wallowed too much in the things that were wrong in my life. I didn't appreciate the things that were going right in my life. I didn't take the time I needed in order to get myself well. It took my previous relationship imploding in on itself, and (secret) continued drinking, in order to finally seek help. Are there things I wish I had done differently? Yes and no. Part of me wouldn't change a thing because it got me where I am today. For the first time in my life, I'm mentally stable and sober. Does this mean I have all the answers? Absolutely not. If I did, I would be sharing my answers with the world. Sadly, I'm just figuring it out as I go along, just like all of you.
Last week, I completed my treatment program. I also closed the chapter on my previous relationship. It is a season of new beginnings. I'm not sure what the future holds for me, but I want to be ready for it.
Meditation has helped me stay grounded. I meditate everyday, and I say special prayers for those around me going through hard times.
It may seem like I go through a lot all at once, and I do. I no longer let it stop me from creating the best life I can for myself. If I have a day where I'm in a lot of pain, and I have trouble walking, I live my day within my means. A few days ago, my left leg gave out on me (which it does often because of the nerve damage created by my spinal injury). I didn't let this recent setback get me down. I rode it out and stayed positive. When I have my flare ups, I ride them out. My neurosurgeon said that my prognosis could go either way. I could make a full recovery, or I could be confined to assistive devices (bed, wheelchair, cane, walker, commode, etc) for the rest of my life. It's up to me and my body. In the past, I allowed other people's opinions about my situation get me down. My ex's family members no longer spoke to me unless I was working and making a sh*t ton of money. I forced myself to work when I wasn't ready, and I caused further damage to my spine (this isn't their fault. It was my own doing because I allowed their opinions to get me down). It shouldn't matter what these people, or anyone else, feels about my issues. They don't know what I do through on a daily basis, nor should they.
The only thing that matters is that I wake up every morning with love in my heart, and hope in my soul. I do what I need to do to get through my days. I pray for those in my life that are going through hardships. I keep a smile on my face no matter what, and I provide kick a** content on this blog.
Anyways, if you are going through some crazy sh*t right now, I pray with a loving heart that you find peace. I pray that strength and love finds you, and surrounds you in its light.
