Blurbal Perspective

Photo Credit: montrealgazette Today in Dumb Criminals, we have a man in Kentucky who quickly found out that playing with fire easily gets you burned. A surveillance camera caught the entire event on video. In the video, a white minivan pulled up in front of a new business. The driver emerged from the vehicle and swung an object at the door several times. The driver then tossed a Molotov cocktail at the door and the business caught on fire. Not only did the business catch fire, the arsonist caught on fire as well. Instead of stopping, dropping, and rolling, the suspect fled to a nearby grassy area, throwing an ignited shoe in the process. Police in Kentucky are still looking for the suspect, as well as his accomplices.

photo credit: People In South Williamson, KY, Walmart shoppers got a close up view of a lunatic taking off his clothes, putting on a halloween mask and running through the store naked. When he got to the dairy section of Walmart, he proceeded to pour milk all over himself. After his milk bath (by the way, I've heard it's good for the skin), he ran through Walmart shouting that he was on fire. A Walmart shopper happened to capture the footage on video and submitted it to YouTube. The video instantly went viral. The sheriff in Pike County, KY obtained arrest warrants and is currently looking for the milk-bathing, streaking, fire man. My Two Cents: #OnlyAtWalmart. "Attention Walmart shoppers: Would the naked man covered in milk please report to customer service? We have your clothes. We have received some complaints about your blue balls and shriveled p*nis. Please pick up your clothes and put them on. Thank you."

photo credit: weinterrupt A dude in Kentucky was arrested after police say that he rode a horse while intoxicated. 40 year old Michael Kimmel told police that he "didn't do sh*t," and that he was just riding his horse. Police arrived at the scene when people complained about the drunk rider. The police released the following report: "The arrest report, filed by Trooper J. Gabbard, says [Kimmel] was ordered to stop, but instead he ran down an embankment, fleeing on foot, wearing only a brown hat, jeans, and boots. During the search for the suspect, police say the found his clothing on the back porch of his own house." Police caught up with Mr. Kimmel and arrested him. He is, however, on probation for a burglary charge. Now he faces DUI charges and evading police. photo credit: HuffPost Now, how is he going to explain this to his cellmates? Breaking probation to evade police by drunk riding a horse. Wow. Just, wow. My Two Cents: I totally und...