When all your hard work is validated, here come the 'happy tears.'

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Me: Shauna Silva in NC May 2016
Those of you who have followed my blog since September know the kind of year I've had. It's been tragic, hard, overwhelming, amazing, incredible, and surreal. With that bad break up, to going into treatment, to kicking toxic people out of my life, to finally coming to terms with who I am, I have endured a lot. I had already known that I've changed since September. Today, I found out how much I've changed, and I'm still feeling surreal about it.

I have been in therapy on and off since I was 4 years old. Today I had a visit with my therapist that was far different than anything I've ever experienced in therapy. I told my therapist about my trip and how amazing it was. I told her that I came to terms with past trauma and with who I am. I told her about everything I am doing to help stay healthy. She looked at me and said that I'm doing very well; so well that she wants to start weaning me off of therapy. She thinks I'm ready. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Throughout my life, I've been pushed into therapy by one person or another. By being weaned off of therapy, it means that I am healthy enough to go through life without being under a psychological microscope.
Immediately after my session, I had to go visit the woman who helped me get on this path, and thank her. She was extremely proud of me. I got emotional, as did she.

After hitting the lowest point in my life, I never thought, 8+ months later, I would be where I'm at today. In my mentor's words, I'm a success story.
As I'm writing this, I'm feeling as close to normal as I've ever felt. I don't feel like an escaped mental patient. I feel human. That, in itself, is a huge reward to me.
I will never be cured from bipolar disorder. However, I am healthy enough to successfully function in society. I will have bad days, but I am able to handle the bad days in healthy ways.

Those of you who have prayed, lit candles, meditated, or spell-casted: Thank you for your healing light.
Readers, hard times do not last forever. If there is any part of you that wants to fight to survive: LISTEN TO IT. Seriously, listen to it. If it weren't for that part of me that wanted to fight to survive, I wouldn't be here. It will be hard as hell to face your trauma, pain, the worst version of yourself, etc. I promise you, it will be worth it. Do not run away. Face it. It's the only way you can win.

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