Thoughts about my pregnancy (Blog Post)
I'm in the middle of my 12th week, and it's still so surreal for me to be carrying a life inside me. I have been through so many changes thus far that I'm nervous to see what the rest of my pregnancy will be like.
As I near my second trimester, I been noticing that my hormones are all over the place. I cry when I listen to music, when I watch things on TV, and when my cat does something cute. I swear, I feel like I am going crazy sometimes, LOL! I was watching scenes from the show "Nashville" and I would absolutely stat balling my eyes out! I would watch "The Voice" and cry during most of the show (because everyone is so good and you can see how much these people want to sing). I would watch my cat roll around and get into these cute poses while she sleeps and I would just tear up. What the heck is going on with me?!
When it comes to food, I learned there are two types of people: those that crave weird ass food dishes, and those that crave MORE of their favorite foods. When I learned that I was pregnant, I was deathly afraid that I would crave some weird food combos. Nope! I craved a lot of my favorite foods, primarily pasta, bread, and nachos. Even though I have Celiac Disease, I still craved my gluten free pasta and bread. I remember early on in the pregnancy, I would smell baked lasagna everywhere. I would feel myself shake if I didn't have baked lasagna and garlic bread that day. Every once in a while, I have found myself craving nachos. I did make my own version of Margaritaville's Volcano Nachos, and it gave me massive heart burn. I haven't had nachos since, LOL!
Craving all of my guilty pleasure favorites does worry me, weight-wise, since I was on a health kick before I got pregnant. Gaining weight is inevitable when you are pregnant, but I worry about gaining too much weight. This is something I'm currently working on fixing, since I've already gained close to 10 pounds. I am trying to focus on portion control so I can still eat my favorites, and I'm trying to include more veggies, superfoods, and protein. I also want to walk more, which will have to be monitored due to an asthma problem that has gotten worse since I became pregnant.
The one thing that I've craved since day one that I won't decrease is ice water. I have to drink ice water throughout the day. I probably fill my small water bottle with water and ice 8 to 10 times a day.
Being pregnant has been the biggest journey of my life, so far. The tragic part about the whole experience is not having someone to share it with. The baby's father is not in the picture. As I've mentioned in previous posts, he walked out when I refused to have an abortion. He also put my safety in jeopardy by having people stalk me, on and off line. It got so bad that I had to take down my private Facebook profile and block everyone having to do with him (I actually got rid of most of my private social media profiles). I'm considering a restraining order against him and another person, but they are in a different state and I'm unsure how to go about it.
Life has gotten less stressful since I disappeared from that drama. Nightmares have stopped, and I'm not looking over my shoulder as much.
Anyways, I'm putting all of my focus on this child and enjoying this experience. I'm also staying close to my support system and anything that keeps my spirits up. That's all we can do, really.
One last thought before I end: I really can't wait to meet the cutie in my belly that has changed my life. <3