Blurbal Perspective

A friend of mine shared this commercial on her Facebook timeline this morning and, of course, I watched it. It's about a man and woman who had a one night stand at the guy's house. The guy wakes the woman to tell her that he's going to work and that she can take her time getting up. Also that the door will lock behind her as she leaves. He kisses her and leaves. She lays down for a bit. After a while, she gets up, showers, "brushes" her teeth, and gets dressed. As she is looking in the mirror, she gets the urge to poop. She looks at the toilet and wonders if she should really poop in his house or hold it until she gets to her house or work. She decides to fire her torpedoes right then and there. She finishes up, flushes the toilet, and goes to wash her hands. Suddenly, the toilet begins to overflow. The woman begins to panic. She tries everything in her power to contain the flood. Eventually, she stops the flood, but, her poo is still in the toilet. She grabs...

Those of us who are in our 30s (or mid-to-late 20s) have probably been asked the all-important and intrusive cluster of questions: "How's your love life?" "You need to hurry up and get married!" "You need to have kids before it's too late." We roll our eyes, and try not to claw out the eyes of the person intruding on your lack of a love life. I was 25 when people began grilling me about my lack of a love life. I had never been in a relationship before. I had dated guys, but, the guys weren't interested in getting to know me better. I constantly suffered from a broken heart. When people asked about my love life, or when I was going to get married, it made me want to choke slam somebody against the wall. I was always the token single girl in my group of friends. Everyone else was getting married and having kids. While I was very happy for my friends, it did make me sad to see everyone moving forward while I stayed in the same place. Many sin...

In a land, far far away (Stocktan, California to be exact), a blue-eyed, full-lipped looker by the name of Jeremy Meeks resides. Despite looking like a Calvin Klein model, Jeremy Meeks was arrested when police officers seized weapons after serving search warrants at 11 different locations. After being processed, Meeks' mugshot was leaked online and social media blew up with women going completely apeshit over his good looks. Here are some of the comments taken from social media: - "Probation/parole at my house!" - "I have handcuffs ;)" - "I volunteer for cell mate!" Some of the women even offered to pay his $900,000 bail bond. Does he have good-looking features? I guess, but, you can't look past the fact that he is a dangerous criminal. These women who are going completely apeshit over him have no idea who this guy is. These women are being driven by their hormones and not thinking logically. This guy could hurt them! The above comments ...

* MATURE SUBJECT MATTER. MUST BE 18 OR OLDER TO READ BLOG. * Along with a dozen other states (in the Bible Belt), Alabama had a law that forbids oral and anal sex between unmarried people. Lawmakers believe that these acts are "homosexual acts." And we all know how the Bible belt feels about the GLBTQ community. Apparently they haven't interviewed the hundreds of thousands of heterosexual couples who engage in oral and anal sex. They are out there. Alabama has made headlines recently because of their law, and today, the law has been overturned. Oral and anal sex between two consenting adults can now take place! (The fact that there was a law banning oral and anal sex proves that the world is going to hell in a hand basket). Before the law was overturned, anyone engaging in the sexual acts was charged with sexual misconduct. I understand that the deep south is religious and they are trying to be all virtuous and whatnot, but, they are kidding themselves if...

Within the past few months, we've seen the talented Jimmy Fallon turn some of anchorman Brian Williams' news pieces into rap songs, all of which have gone viral on Youtube. Being the class act that he is, Brian Williams had no problem with Jimmy Fallon using snippets of his news broadcasts to make the rap songs. Williams even gave input as to which songs Fallon should use next. Williams, name-dropped Ludacris as one person he'd like to rap. Sure enough, Jimmy Fallon made that happen. What are some of rap music's biggest stars Brian Williams has covered in the last few months? Well, he has rapped Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice," Marky Mark's "Good Vibrations," and Young MC's "Bust a Move," just to name a few. The one that Brian Williams requested Jimmy Fallon to mash together was "Rollout," by Ludacris. When I watched the interview Willams did with Jimmy Fallon, I nearly fell out of my seat in shock. When the "R...

Hey gang. Just wanted to let you all know that I may be missing in action for a little while. Tomorrow I will be getting a spinal fusion done, and I will be in the hospital for three days. I been dealing with severe back pain from Spinal Stenosis for the past year and a half. At times, it has prevented me from walking, which has prevented me from working an outside job. Since I still have to make a living, I decided to work from home. I earn money being a pain in the ass writing online, and, while I do love it, I miss being a little shit in public. Throughout the past year and a half, I been going from doctor to doctor, trying to figure out why the hell I been in so much pain. Some thought I was making it up. ER docs thought I was trying to hit them up for pain pills. My primary doctor thought I was depressed and wanted to commit me. I told my primary doctor that my pain wasn't because of depression, and that it was the other way around. She referred me to pain management. W...

 For those who are puzzled as to what I mean by an intimate massager, I mean vibrator. Electronic sex toy. Battery controlled fun. A miracle contraption that can take a woman from zero to multiple orgasms in 40 seconds (something most men cannot do). Now that we've gotten that covered, onto the story . So, in Sandy Spring, Georgia, you need to have a medical reason to own a vibrator. Apparently, being sex hungry, lonely, and horny isn't enough nowadays, especially in the Bible belt. You have to have a medical condition, and a doctor's prescription for a vibrator. Can you imagine the clerks, doctors, and pharmacy techs that have trouble keeping a straight face while filling that prescription? "Hmm, do you need the 6 inch, 8 inch, or 10 inch model this month, Mrs Jones?" "Do you need to speak to the Pharmacist about any side effects?" A woman in Sandy Springs, Georgia filed a lawsuit against the town because of the ridiculous law. Melissa Davenpor...

 Get ready to have your pants blown off... According to my favorite site, Jezebel , and famed "whistle-blower" Ron Tebo, she really can't talk to the "other side." Tebo interviewed several of Theresa Caputo's clients for a year, and he found out that Caputo had her employees do background checks on her clients, she asked her clients vague questions, and tricked her clients during her readings. The term "cold reading" has been used to describe her readings. (Cold reading is basically a lot of lucky guesses that are used by picking up on signals from the cold reader's clients) Cold readers (or most TV mediums) extort you during your time of grief (I use the word extort because they do use force to gain your money). They mind-trick you by making you think that they are talking with your loved ones on the "other side." Folks, I used to be heavily interested in all the occult stuff. I realized it wasn't for me. As for s...